Thursday, June 3, 2010

Distance

So...I've been a little distant lately. Let me explain. (I figure if you can't open in the blogosphere, where can you?) My parents are getting divorced. No, no, no...My last name is not Gore. My dad has decided that after nearly 30 years of marriage (this anniversary would have been November 8 this year), that he has "grown apart" from my mom and he left her last month. It has been weird and difficult for me and I didn't expect it. At nearly 26 years old, I thought I could handle this, it wouldn't be weird or strange, just different. No...it is weird and strange and about a million other things. I think that maybe I am find it hard mostly because Danial and I are planning our wedding and it is supposed to be a really happy time for us, but I'm just finding it difficult to get back into planning mode. Also, I worry about both of my parents when, should it be the other way around? It is hard to believe that they could be happier alone than they were together. *sigh*
How does this happen? Do you think it is possible to stay together after 30 years together? How do some couples grow together and some grow apart? What do you think it takes to stay together?
These are just some of the questions that I have been asking myself the last month and I think, at least for me, I have found some answers.
I think that our parent's generation doesn't communicate like we do. I never heard my parents talk about "feelings" or talk about how to avoid conflict in the future. I am never afraid to tell Dan my feelings and about how something he said made me feel or about an argument really upset me. On the flip-side, I also love to tell him when we are doing something or just cuddling and overwhelming happiness pours over me. It’s the good and the bad that make a relationship; it is how we react to that that matters. 
On a lighter and more random note…
I was listening to BBC Radio on my way home from work last night and heard the most amazing story. There are six people who have volunteered for a simulated trip to Mars. Now...this may not seem so amazing at first, but when you find out that the volunteers will be in an isolated complex for a total of 540 days.  Talk about distance!  At this point in my life, I think I would like a little distance, but I'm not sure I could stand to be in a small, confined space with total strangers for over a year and half. 

2 comments:

  1. I'm sorry, Lindsay. Divorce is not an easy thing to deal with no matter how old you are. I'm sorry that you have to deal with it while planning your wedding.

    My parents split up when I was very young, so I never had their marriage to model (thank goodness). But now that I'm planning my own wedding, it's allowed me to have conversations with Josh about things that may cause a few bumps in the road for us. I think about divorce a lot- with all the statistics and seeing my parent's fail at being a married couple- it reminds me that marriage is work. Hard work.

    And touching on the communication thing just a bit here- wedding planning is GREAT practice for communication. Trying to meet your needs and the needs of your partner is what marriage is about and so is wedding planning.

    This post was very brave.

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  2. Angie, thank you so much for your kind words (they mean more than you could know)!!

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