Thursday, January 6, 2011

Quick questions....

I have so much homework to do this evening (on top of the 5 loads of laundry that have been piling up for two weeks now).
So in lieu of a quality post, I have a few questions that have been floating in my head all day.  I would love to hear your opinions.
As Babs would say, "talk amongst yourselves."

1) The Knot.
Normally I ignore The Knot, as most people should, but today it was impossible.  Their question today was, "Would you fiance wear an engagement ring?"  I almost spit my coffee out of my nose when I read it on my phone this morning.  (Please take no offense if your man is wearing an engagement ring.  Or as they called it, a "man"agement ring.)  The feminish in me was so apalled by this question.  My gut response was "why would he wear an engagement ring?!"  And then I though, why do I wear an engagement ring?  First off, I love my engagement ring, it is my grandma's engagement ring.  She wore it everyday since she was 16 and wore it up until the day she gave it to Dan to give to me.  However....I don't NEED an engagement ring.  I don't even NEED a wedding band.  Its not the little metal band on my finger that proves I have a committment to Danial.  It is the day-in-day-out that proves I have a committment to him.  It is staying by his side when things are good and when they are ugly.  Really ugly. 
The rings on our fingers are merely an outward symbol of what is in our hearts and minds.  But...why do we really need a symbol?  I feel like many people would want their man to wear an engagement ring because it proves that they are "off the market".  (Many women said this on Facebook today).  My thought it, if you have to mark your man to prove he is off the market, perhaps he shouldn't be your man?  I mean...if your man is approached at a bar, the grocery store, or wherever.  Shouldn't he have the balls and COMMITTMENT to you to say, I'm flattered, but I'm engaged or married, or whatever it is?
I don't know why, but this whole idea really pissed me off.  I am committed to Danial and no metal on my finger proves that to anyone.
Now...don't get me wrong.  I wear an engagement ring and I will wear a wedding ring.  The thing that really got to me was the fact that some of these women commenting were really pushing the fact that they wanted to show their committment to others.  Shouldn't the only person you have to show your committment to your partner?
What do you think?  Would you even want your man to wear an engagement ring?
Am I out in left field on this one?

2) No kids at the wedding/wedding reception. 
As our big day gets closer and closer I am getting really anxious about telling our friends and family that our wedding will be an adult only affair. 
Don't get me wrong.  I love kids.  A lot goes into their decision.  Our venue requires that we hire a baby sitter if we have more than 10 children at the wedding under the age of 12.  Most of our friends have kids, so more than likely we would have to hire a baby sitter.  Additionally, we have to pay per plate for kids meal (regardless if the children eat the meal or not).  Also...I want our friends to enjoy our wedding and not worry about a fussy baby.  We are having an evening wedding that will probably last well into the evening and I would hate to that our friends had to leave early to get their babies home. 
Is it wrong to have an adult onlky wedding/wedding reception?
How would you announce this to the family?

3) I am getting sort of overwhelmed with this wedding planning business.  The wedding is now 9 months away and I realize that we haven't really planned anything aside from the dress, the venue, and our photographers.  People ask me tons of questions about the wedding: who is doing your hair, how will you wear your hair, what types of invitations will you have, etc.  My answer to everything has been "I don't know." All I know is that I can't wait to marry Dan.  I would marry him tomorrow without any of that bridal stuff.
So...how do I get excited about this wedding planning stuff without getting too overwhelemed?  What is a nice way to tell people to stop asking me questions?

2 comments:

  1. I totally agree with the engagement ring thing. I would find it odd to see a man wearing an engagement ring. Like you, I love my ring (and wedding ring) but I felt committed to my husband before they were ever on my finger.

    We didn't have the problem of kids at the wedding because almost none of our friends had kids at the time. But I've seen "Adult reception to follow the ceremony at _____" printed on invitations. Or something alone those lines so people should know (I stress should).

    I too got sick of all the questions and frequently told people that I was on vacation from wedding planning or that this area was a "No Wedding Planning Zone". When I got desperate I just flat out said that just couldn't talk about it anymore.

    Sorry for the long comment! I'm a new follower of yours and I've enjoyed your posts!

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  2. Tara, thanks for reading and commenting. It is nice to know that I'm not the only one who has felt overwhelmed by wedding planning. Also, thanks for the tip of the reception wording. I'm thinking about putting some information on our wedding web page about the reception being adults only. Hopefully with a little bit more explanation from us, people will be more understanding. :-)

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